


Dizzyland

by amythis



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: Exploding Season Eight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:02:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23537272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amythis/pseuds/amythis
Summary: Laverne, Lenny, and Squiggy return to Disneyland in Season Eight.
Comments: 52
Kudos: 5





	1. Keys to the Kingdom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Missy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/gifts).



Laverne was about to get in the van to join her new friends from RALPH, when one of her oldest friends ran up to her and said, "Laverne, we're going to Disneyland!"

"That's great, Len. Show me the pictures when you get them developed."

"No, I mean you, me, and Squiggy are going."

"Uh, Lenny, this isn't really a good day for me to go."

"But it has to be today!"

"Why?"

"Because," said Squiggy, showing up in mouse ears that had "Andrew" embroidered on the brim, "today is the day he meets Annette Funicello."

"Excuse me?"

"I entered the Why I Want to Meet Annette Funicello essay contest, and I won three passes to Disneyland!"

Laverne blinked. This was 1967. Annette wasn't even Funicello anymore. She was married with a baby. She was semi-retired from acting and singing now, and Laverne had the feeling that not many people had entered this contest. After all, Lenny once wrote a speech and put too many O's in "mustard."

"Congratulations, Len, but I've already made plans for today."

"Please, Laverne! It'll be more fun with you along."

"Guy, Laverne, what's the hold-up?"

A skinny girl with long, straight blonde hair and battle fatigues had just emerged from the apartment building, accompanied by a tall, good-looking Negro, also in battle fatigues.

"Um, Sheba, Aaron, these are my friends Lenny and Squiggy and they've invited me to Disneyland."

"Oh, wow, that's super sweet, but can't they take a rain check?"

Anyone who was merely acquainted with Lenny Kosnowski would've expected him to say something like, "But it's sunny." It took a close friend like Laverne to know he'd say, "But I'm Polish."

"Come on," Aaron said, "time is money."

Squiggy surprisingly didn't say anything, just jingled the keys to the boys' ice cream truck.

Laverne told herself this wasn't a life-or-death decision, but she was wrong. Thinking regretfully of all the cute guys in RALPH and of her first real female friend in awhile, but also of the joy she could bring to a man who asked so little out of life, she said, "I'm sorry Sheba, Aaron, but I can't go with you today."

Lenny did a happy dance that wouldn't have looked out of place in a Disney cartoon and she expected him to burst into song at any moment.

"Guy, this is such a bummer!"

Aaron shook his head. "I told you she doesn't have what it takes."

Part of Laverne, the part that earned her the high school nickname "Gutsy," wanted to say, "Oh yeah?", and climb into the van. Instead, she found herself following the boys over to their truck.

"I'll call you tomorrow, Sheba," she said before getting in the back.

"Like, I totally won't answer."

Neither girl knew that Sylvia Berman wouldn't have been able to pick up the phone the next day, even if she'd wanted to.


	2. Main Street, U.S.A.

As they waited in line for admittance, Lenny broke off from his medley of every Disney song he could remember to ask, "Why aren't you joining in, Laverne?"

"I'm just not in the mood, OK?"

It was not OK. "Laverne, this is the Happiest Place on Earth and all the other planets, but you're acting like Grumpy the Dwarf."

Squiggy nodded as he returned from hitting on two girls a few people back in line. He'd promised that Lenny could have the less pretty one if it was a successful mission, but Lenny was perfectly happy hanging out with Laverne. Well, not perfectly happy, because that would mean being at Disneyland with Laverne on a date. But he was as happy as he could be with her there as just friends.

Squiggy said, "She's mad because she lost her latest chance for a new gal pal."

Lenny glanced back at the two coeds who were whispering, giggling, and pointing at Squiggy. "She don't look mad."

"I'm talkin' about Laverne. First Shirley runs off, and then that chick from the Playboy Club gets transferred to Chicago."

Squiggy had told him about how he'd been asked to act like a typical playboy at the club as part of the waitresses' training. Lenny would've given anything to see Laverne in her bunny outfit, but Squiggy had always been the luckier one.

"I'm very happy for Cathy."

That was one of the other bunnies, who Laverne made friends with and encouraged to sing for Mr. Hefner. Lenny met her once and she was a good singer and pretty and sexy, but not like Laverne. No one was like Laverne.

"Mebbe so, mebbe so, but that doesn't change the fact that she's not in California anymore. And then along comes this Sheila chick"

"Sheba."

"Whatever. You just met her but you're willing to give up a free visit to Disneyland with two of your oldest and closest friends."

She grumbled, "I'm here, aren't I?"

"We could've invited Rhonda, you know."

For some reason, Laverne seemed to find this very funny. After she stopped laughing, she said, more cheerfully, "So what's the plan, Len?"

He wasn't really a planner, not like Squiggy or Shirley. But he took the wrinkled map from two years ago out of the back pocket of his jeans. He smoothed it out and said, "I figure we start on Main Street U.S.A., because that's the center of everything. And then maybe work our way clockwise through the lands of the kingdom until we meet up with Annette at six for dinner in Tomorrowland."

"Wait, we're eating with Annette?"

"Yeah!" He reached into the breast pocket of his Hawaiian shirt. He read aloud from the contest announcement, "First prize, you and two of your friends or family will spend a fun-filled afternoon at the Magic Kingdom, capped off by dinner at six p.m. at the brand-new Tomorrowland Terrace, with special guest Annette Funicello!"

"Wow!"

She understood, in a way that Rhonda couldn't, maybe no other girl could.

And then suddenly they were at the front of the line. Lenny nervously gave his name and showed his California driver's license. Half of him thought this would all turn out to be a cruel joke. But, no, the lady in the ticket booth smiled, said, "Congratulations and have a wonderful time!", and handed over an envelope with his name on the outside.

"Thank you!" he whispered reverently, clutching the precious envelope.

As soon as they stepped away from the booth and towards the Main Entrance, Squiggy ripped the envelope out of Lenny's trembling hands. He started rifling through it, taking stock of the contents, like how many E tickets there were.

Then Laverne grabbed the envelope from Squiggy and said, "I'll look after them, since Shirley isn't here."

They hadn't invited Shirley on their first trip to Disneyland. They weren't trying to be mean. It was just that Shirley was working and Laverne hadn't found a job yet. Lenny and Squiggy were trying to cheer Laverne up, show her how great California could be, because she was also homesick. Today was a little bit like that.

Shirley was the organized one, although she had as many dreams as plans. It would've been fun if she'd been able to go a couple years ago, but she ended up going with Carmine (after he moved out to California), Laverne, and Sonny, Laverne's first serious boyfriend in Burbank. Lenny and Squiggy took dates to Disneyland a few times, but it was never as fun as that first time with Laverne.

Laverne hadn't brought her purse, since wherever she'd been heading out to apparently didn't require her to spend any money or fix her makeup or anything. Shirley would've brought her purse, just in case.

Lenny hesitated and then stripped off his red jacket. He held it out to Laverne and said, "Here, it's got zippable pockets." He deliberately didn't look at Squiggy and he hoped his best friend wouldn't say anything about how Lenny didn't loan his jacket to just anybody. In fact, Laverne was only the third after Amy and Karen.

Laverne half smiled as she took the jacket, but instead of thanking him, she said as she slipped it on, "The Lone Wolf, huh?" Then she threw back her head and howled like a wolf, sending chills up and down his spine.

He wanted to tell her how magnificent she was, or at least that the red of his old jacket went well with her bell-sleeved red top. Instead, he started singing, "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?"

And that was why when Lenny finally returned to Main Street U.S.A. with both his best friends, the three of them were singing the title song from the 1933 soundtrack of _The Three Little Pigs_.


	3. Adventureland

Main Street, U.S.A. was never Squiggy's favorite part of Disneyland. As his dad used to say before running off twenty years ago, nostalgia ain't what it used to be. And Walt Disney's idealized hometown did not in the slightest resemble Squiggy's gritty childhood and misspent youth in Milwaukee. Knapp Street, U.S.A. would've looked a lot different.

The other thing about Main Street was it didn't have any rides, just shops and restaurants. So Squiggy soon pointed at the sign that said Adventureland and asked, "Ready?"

Lenny and Laverne nodded, so he led them to the southwestern land of the kingdom. He had mixed feelings about this trip, although he would try to keep them to himself. He thought of himself as stoic with a temper, and he definitely didn't wear his heart and other organs on his sleeve like Lenny did. So Squiggy wasn't going to say a word about how unbalanced things felt when it was the three of them hanging out.

"Ooo, the Enchanted Tiki Room!" Lenny gasped, as if he was surprised to see it, although it was near the border, like always.

Squiggy knew that the song would get stuck in his head, whether or not Lenny sang it. But he also knew that that was one of the costs of this free adventure, and he was willing to pay it. It was worth it to see his best friend as happy as a little kid. Well, a little kid who didn't grow up in a broken home on Knapp Street.

Laverne took the envelope out of the left pocket of Lenny's jacket. Squiggy felt a pang of non-jealousy. That is, Laverne wasn't really his type, but sometimes he wondered what it would be like to be as crazy about a girl as Lenny had been for years about Laverne. Sometimes Squiggy felt sorry for him, because it seemed one-sided, and other times Squiggy thought that it would happen someday. The thing with him and Shirley, their crushes had always been incompatible, because she was a nice girl and he was a bad boy. Still, it would've been nice to loan her his leather jacket at least once when she was still single.

Laverne handed them the right tickets for the Tiki Room and then zipped the envelope back up in the pocket. Squiggy was glad she had taken on that responsibility, even though he would've rather Shirley had been there to. At least this way he knew that Laverne was committed to this adventure, whatever mixed feelings she had.

The line wasn't bad. It was early afternoon on a Friday, around 1:30. Most people were at school or work, unless they were on vacation. He and Lenny had flexible schedules in their profession, unlike when they worked at Shotz. Laverne sometimes got Fridays off from the aerospace company, although that didn't really explain why she'd been hanging out with a bunch of freaks in battle fatigues. But Squiggy was sort of used to the girls' weird and inexplicable behavior by now.

Squiggy looked to see if there were any cute girls in line, but it was just for ogling purposes, not to hit on. He hadn't exactly struck out with the coeds in the line for the ticket booth, but the less pretty one said, "Looks like your friend already has a girl," and he hadn't wanted to have to explain Laverne to a stranger. Anyway, the dames in this line seemed to all be tourist wives, some with kids.

Within minutes, Squiggy was trapped in a room filled with joking, singing tropical robot birds. Lenny looked as enchanted as the room's full name promised. Laverne kept smiling at Lenny like he was an adorable idiot.

And, yes, the three of them exited singing, "In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room...." Until Lenny switched over to "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me." So fifteen minutes later, the three of them were cruising through the Caribbean. And a half hour after that, they were on a different boat, in a jungle. At least there were no catchy songs for that ride, just corny jokes.

When they were back on land, Laverne asked, "Can we do the treehouse now? I need a break from just sitting and being entertained." She was an active, restless girl, so Squiggy wasn't too surprised by that part. And Laverne was scared of heights when she was younger, but she seemed to have gotten over that the time she landed a plane.

Maybe it was being in this tropical land, but Squiggy regretted wearing all black. Yes, it was his signature color, like Audrey Hepburn, but he started sweating as he followed his two friends up the winding stairs and wooden bridges.

Laverne glanced down at him and asked, "You OK, Squig?"

He stripped off his leather jacket and wordlessly held it out to her.

She half smiled and then slipped it on, over the red jacket, which was of course longer and covered the seat of her jeans. Squiggy's jacket was snugger on her, and he couldn't help imagining it on Shirley's petite torso and covering the seat of her jeans.

Then Laverne cracked, "Are we going steady now?"

Squiggy looked further up and saw the expression of hurt and betrayal on Lenny's face. So Squiggy looked out at Adventureland and said, "I just figured you was the least sweaty of us."

When he looked back, Laverne was pushing past Lenny. By the time the path through and around the treehouse led downward, Squiggy's jacket was tied around Laverne's waist.


	4. Frontierland

As they crossed the border into Frontierland, Laverne couldn't help grinning. This was her favorite part of the park. It was outdoors and full of activity. She had loved coming here with Sonny, climbing, running, and just trying to keep up with her stuntman boyfriend. Not that she wasn't having fun with the boys, but it wasn't the carefree adventure she'd had two years ago, when she was able to forget the stress of her job hunt. (And she had applied for the Snow White job but all she got was a "maybe" for Dopey.) Today there was all this weirdness with the jackets, and friendship, and she just didn't want to think about it all.

"Where do you want to start first, Laverne?" Lenny asked.

"Tom Sawyer Island!" she exclaimed, as if there could be any doubt.

So the three of them headed over to the line for the rafts to the island. She watched the Mark Twain Riverboat go by as they waited, and then she untied Squiggy's jacket and handed it back to him. Neither of them said anything, even though she wanted to laugh when he tied it over his shoulders, like he went to prep school or something.

Soon the three of them were on the island, running around like little kids. Maybe it was that she had grown up with the boys, but she could play with them in a way she couldn't with anybody but Shirley. Like, even with her favorite boyfriends, she'd never had tickle fights like she had with Lenny.

Not that he was tickling her right now, but he was chasing her all over the island. She laughed as she ran from him, and it was like tag, and he was It.

She caught her breath in a cave but watched the entrance. She didn't know the island as well as Lenny apparently, because he snuck up behind her from another direction, tapped her shoulder, and said, "Tag, you're It!"

She whirled around in surprise and fell into his arms, which seemed to surprise him. In a movie, maybe not a Disney movie, this would be where the boy and the girl would have their first kiss. But their first kiss was almost a decade ago, when his thanks surprised her after she surprised him with an L for the jacket she was now wearing.

She broke away and ran out the way she came in. She found Squiggy leaning against a tree, reading a comic book that had perhaps been left behind by some actual kid.

Without looking up, he said, "Let me ask you something, Laverne."

"What?" She really hoped it wouldn't be about Lenny.

"Why doesn't Donald Duck wear pants?"

Her "What?" was more confused this time.

"Mickey Mouse wears pants, so why doesn't Donald?"

For some reason, she remembered Anne Marie, then known as "Nutsy," whispering to her twelve years ago, "That's called a DA, that hairstyle Fonzie wears. Do you wanna know what it stands for?"

Laverne now blurted out, "Maybe it's because of his ass."

Without batting an eye, Squiggy said, "Ah, that explains why Daisy doesn't wear skirts."

Before she could think of a reply to that, Lenny ran up from a different direction than she had and panted, "What do you wanna do now, Laverne?"

So that was how they all ended up at the Shootin' Range. She and Lenny had both been in the Reserves, but they were out of practice. Squiggy, who hadn't had any marksmanship training that she knew of, hit all the targets. It wasn't like at a fair, so he didn't "win" anything, but he did insist on choosing their next destination, which turned out to be the Golden Horseshoe Café. He argued that since none of them had had lunch yet (she'd planned to serve snacks to RALPH but that hadn't happened), they should have something to tide them over until dinner with Annette.

Laverne still couldn't get over how unreal it was that she'd be eating a meal with a celebrity from her youth. Yes, Laverne had met other celebrities, but not like this. OK, she had almost married Derek DeWoods from London's Bridges, but she'd been stoned at the time and hadn't been able to fully appreciate the experience. Even if Annette was sort of a has-been, she was still one of the few celebrities who were known by one name, like Twiggy or Cher or, well, London of London's Bridges, who Shirley had almost married.

She remembered Nutsy, a year before becoming a nun, whispering, "Do you think Annette's boobs are real?" And "Klutsy" said, "They must be. Annette is too nice a person to lie," even though she herself was a nice person who stuffed her bra. Of course, now that Shirley was pregnant, and married, apparently she didn't use "figure enhancers" anymore.

Laverne also remembered 19-year-old Lenny, Squiggy, and Hector leering at 15-year-old Annette, although there had always been a bit of Lenny's "on a pedestal" kind of crush, because Annette was a nice girl. Even when the four of them (not Hector and Anne Marie of course) went to see _Beach Blanket Bingo_ at the Pacific Drive-in a couple years ago, Lenny had admired Annette's acting and singing as much as her bikinis. (It hadn't been a date, although the boys got a little fresh of course.)

The Golden Horseshoe offered fried Western food, not all that different than Cowboy Bill's, but pricier. Laverne hadn't brought her purse, even though she'd been heading out to the bank. RALPH was going to ask for a contribution to the cause. She hoped things were going OK with that. She'd call Sheba and apologize tomorrow, even if Sheba didn't want to talk. She'd make it up to her somehow, maybe give her a souvenir.

Anyway, Laverne didn't have any cash on her, and Lenny's envelope didn't have any coupons for food or souvenirs. The boys paid for her, as they had two years ago, although Shirley would not be able to pay them back this time. But Laverne made good money at the aerospace company, so it wouldn't be a problem.

The café (really a saloon, but without alcohol) had a live stage show, “Slue Foot Sue’s Horseshoe Revue." Laverne didn't mind sitting and being entertained when she was eating, but it felt good to get up and be on the move again afterwards, to ride the Rainbow Ridge Pack Mules, help steer the Indian War Canoes, and see all the sights along the way.

Still, she didn't object when Lenny suggested they move along to his favorite land in the kingdom. This was his trip after all, and she was just along for the ride.


	5. Fantasyland

It was hard to know where to begin. Well, they went through Sleeping Beauty Castle of course, since they followed Lenny's map to the northern end of Main Street and then over the drawbridge and through the castle. But after that, the whole beautiful, brightly colored land was spread before them, and Lenny wanted to go everywhere at once.

Luckily, he was with more decisive friends. So first they did Laverne's choice, the crazy rides that made them almost puke up the food from the Golden Horseshoe— the Mad Tea Party spinning cups and Dumbo the Flying Elephant— and then Squiggy selected what he considered to be the best of the indoor Fantasyland rides. If they'd had more time, they probably would've hit everything, but Lenny didn't want to stand up Annette. So it was just Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Peter Pan's Flight, and, for Lenny's sake, It's a Small World, even though Squiggy had this love-hatred with songs that got stuck in your head.

When they went to Disneyland with Laverne the first time, nobody made a big deal about who sat with who, even on the rides with only two seats, like the old cars for Mr. Toad. This time, at least in Fantasyland, Laverne was very careful not to sit next to Lenny or Squiggy. So they mostly sat next to each other.

Lenny understood. It had to do with him almost kissing her in the cave. He'd wanted to but he was afraid she'd slap him or at least wouldn't kiss back. She must've sensed that he'd wanted to, so now she didn't trust him.

Or maybe she'd expected him to kiss her and she despised him for chickening out. Sometimes it felt like there was never a right thing to do about Laverne.

No, she must still like him, because she was still wearing his jacket. And she only wore Squiggy's jacket for a little while, even though she had seemed to be kind of flirting with Squiggy a couple times today. Maybe Lenny was imagining things. His teachers always said he had an overactive imagination. That was why Fantasyland was his favorite part of the Magical Kingdom, although it was kind of a blur today.

"What do you wanna do now, Laverne?"

He expected her to say the Matterhorn Bobsleds, even though they were running low on E tickets, but she said, "I wanna buy a hat."

"Oh, like when we all bought duck hats last time?"

"No, this is a gift."

"But you don't have any money on you."

"Can I borrow some more?"

"Uh, sure." He hoped it wasn't for some other guy.

It turned out to be for that blonde girl, Sheba, an apology hat, although Lenny didn't think Laverne had done anything wrong. Still, he agreed to model the hats she picked out, until she decided on a Peter Pan cap, with a feather. He didn't point out that his head was probably bigger than Sheba's, because the hat was the kind of style where it was all right if it was a little big.

And Squiggy waited outside the Mad Hatter shop, flirting with all the princesses that went by.


	6. Tomorrowland

They took the skyway to Tomorrowland, all of them in one gondola. It was getting closer to six and it would break Lenny's heart if they missed the rendezvous with Annette.

The first time they all went to Disneyland, Lenny thought they were too early because it was today. But he and Squiggy did take dates there later, and their favorite makeout spot was the Monsanto House of the Future. You asked a girl if she wanted to see what everyday life would be like in 1986, and most of them would say yes. You wouldn't be able to go too far in the crowd, but you could usually at least sneak a kiss, and if the girl was easy, she'd let you grope a little. Plastic furniture apparently was a bit of an African-disiac.

Laverne was sort of easy, but Squiggy knew by now he wouldn't get anything off her. He did wonder if something had happened in the cave on Tom Sawyer Island, but he could grill Lenny later.

In any case, the Monsanto House and so much of what Squiggy remembered about Tomorrowland had become memories of yesterday. The great eastern territory of the kingdom had been modernized, now looking forward to the dawn of the twenty-first century!

"I guess I should get a new map," Lenny mumbled. 

"Right now we need to find Tomorrowland Terrace," Laverne pointed out.

But once they were back at ground level, it turned out that the terrace wasn't far off.

Squiggy glanced at his watch and saw it was 5:45. "One more ride?"

Lenny looked torn between his desire to experience as much of the kingdom as he could and the promise of dinner with two old crushes and Squiggy.

"What about Autopia?" Laverne asked, pointing to the right. "The line is short and it's right there."

Lenny's face lit up for the dozenth time that day. He loved to drive even more than Squiggy did. So soon the three of them were piled into one miniature royal blue Corvette Stingray.

This was of course completely against the rules, because it was supposed to be only a driver and maybe one small passenger. But when Laverne said, "This man has a dinner date with Annette Funicello in ten minutes," the ticket taker rolled his eyes and said, "I see nothink," like he was Sgt. Schultz on _Hogan's Heroes_.

Squiggy sat sideways on Laverne's lap and put his legs across Lenny's lap, so that only his high-top sneakers hung outside of the car. They probably weren't saving much time by taking one car instead of three, but this felt like something they needed to do. And despite the futuristic setting, it was like they were reinventing a '50s fad, like phone-booth-stuffing.

Laverne gripped his arm enough that he didn't fall out of the car as Lenny zipped around the track like a pro. But as soon as they got to the exit, both Squiggy's friends pushed him off them and out of the car. 

Then they unbuckled and the three of them raced over to the Tomorrowland Terrace. Laverne got out Lenny's envelope and he got out his congratulatory letter and they presented the documents to the maitre d' in a spacesuit. He escorted the trio to the reserved table.

"Where's Annette?" Lenny asked eagerly as they all sat down.

Suddenly the stage raised hydraulically and there she was! Her black hair was in a fancy bouffant and she was wearing a short, glittery, Vegasy, gold dress, with white go-go boots. She sang into a microphone, "They call him Merlin Jones, the scrambled egghead. Merlin Jones, the campus kook. But my heart's whirlin', I'm the girl in love with Merlin Jones!"

Lenny watched as if hypnotized, not even singing along. Laverne looked very amused and a little charmed. And Squiggy hoped that they wouldn't be serving Tang and astronaut pills for dinner.

After the audience applauded, none more appreciatively than Lenny of course, Annette said into the microphone, "Thank you so much. It's great to be back at my home away from home. And tonight is really special, because I'm going to meet the winner of the Why I Want to Meet Annette Funicello essay contest, Mr. Leonard Kosmo— um."

"Kosnowski!" Squiggy and Laverne yelled.

Lenny looked very self-conscious but still very happy, as everyone pointed and stared and then clapped politely. Annette smiled down at him and then placed the microphone in its stand and stepped off the stage. Lenny stood up and pulled out a chair for her. Squiggy resisted calling him "Manners the Butler."

Disneyland photographers had the four of them pose for shots, and Squiggy realized that Laverne had gone all day without being able to take pictures, since she hadn't had her camera on her when she was heading out with her weird new friends. When she first came to California, she took her camera almost everywhere, although oddly enough she hadn't brought it on the last trip here the three of them took, because she thought it would make her look too touristy when she applied for the Snow White job. Well, maybe they could all come back some time, but Squiggy would definitely bring a date.

The menu turned out to be just burgers, fries, and Coca-Cola, since Coke was one of the many sponsors of Tomorrowland. It felt appropriate somehow, taking them back to their teen years in the '50s, not that Squiggy was nostalgic of course.

Lenny for once seemed too mesmerized to eat, so Squiggy and Laverne both kept stealing fries off his plate. Lenny didn't say much, but Squiggy had expected that. All Lenny's eloquence had gone into the essay (Squiggy had fixed the spelling), and seeing Annette in person had struck Lenny as dumb as being around whatshername the Cowboy Bill's waitress at Hoot Night. Or Miss Joey Heatherton.

Laverne asked Annette about her baby and her house, just like Shirley would've, and Squiggy did his best not to look at Annette's chest, now that she was a wife and mother. He asked her some questions about her career, including where they got the talking dog for _The Shaggy Dog_.

Annette was sweet and down-to-earth, just like Squiggy had imagined. After the meal, she said, "It was lovely meeting you all," and she kissed Lenny on the cheek.

It took ten minutes for Squiggy and Laverne to get Lenny out of his chair, so they could hit America the Beautiful, the People Mover, the Carousel of Progress, and then the Tomorrowland Train Station back to Main Street. They made it in time for the fireworks, but even those were anticlimatic.

Squiggy drove the ice cream truck home, since Lenny was still too dazed to operate heavy machinery. Laverne rode in the back again, but she leaned forward to pop a Peter Pan hat on Lenny's head and say, "Here, Len, you can have it. I'll just talk to Sheba tomorrow."

"Thanks, Laverne," Lenny murmured.

Squiggy tried to focus on his driving.


	7. The Written Word

Excerpt from _The Los Angeles Times,_ Saturday, November 18, 1967:

Eight suspects have been arrested for the Friday afternoon robbery of the Burbank Trust & Loan. The group has been identified with the organization RALPH, which stands for Radical Action for Love, Peace, and Happiness. No statements have been made, other than Sylvia "Sheba" Berman, the only female suspect being quoted as saying, "Guy, this is such a bummer! It's all LAVERNE's fault!" Authorities believe that this is a reference to a rival organization, Love Activates Vigilant Energy and Radical National Emergence.

  


  


The 1967 winner of the Why I Want to Meet Annette Funicello essay contest:

Dear Disneyland, the spirit of the late Walt Disney, and whom it may concern,

  


I want to meet Annette Funicello because of her beauty, talent, and kindness. Also, I want to take my two best friends to Disneyland, like the three of us went when we first moved out to California. They are good, loyal, supportive friends, but they are also very cynical. We recently lost one of our other good friends. Not that Shirley is dead, but she got married and moved away. She is as nice as Annette, although not as beautiful and talented of course, but she is pretty and a good singer and actress. Anyway, she was the optimist in our group, always singing "High Hopes" and believing in dreams. I want me and my friends to believe again, so I think if we meet Annette that would help.

And Disneyland really is a magical kingdom, but it'll be even more magical if we see Annette there.

  


Yours sincerely,  
Leonard Kosnowski


End file.
